Geek Chic.

Picture the scene..

It's a dreary Monday afternoon, five past five to be precise and as much as us Kitschers LOVE our job, let's just say we we're more than a little ready for home time. We're looking a bit disheveled after the weekly Monday slog... hair needs a bit of a brush, posture needs straightening, make up needs a bloody good touch up and all we REALLY want to do is close the door and throw ourselves on that rather appealing 70's sofa.

Then in walks GOD. Yes, you read correctly. God. He swaggers through our front door, swinging his umbrella with his wistful smile that straightens our slumped spines and wakes up our bored demeanour immediately and shoots a wink our direction. Swoon.

Now "WHO? Are they talking about?" I hear you cry???

Think back to January 2008, when any fashionista worth her university tuition fees was glued to the TV watching Project Catwalk series 3. It began like the two previous series... with a bunch of diverse, egotistical prats, trying to seduce the vertically challenged Julian McDonald into propelling their mostly ghastly designs into stardom.

Then, we are introduced to HIM:

And suddenly its not about laughing at the narcissistic, egocentric fools and convincing ourselves that we can, like, do well better than them, yeah. Its about IDOLISING Ross Hancock....purely for his pattern cutting skills of course. (Cough.)

So its close to closing on a Monday and we look like shit and he's in our boutique. Aargh.
Dilemma, do we talk to him? Or do we hide our ragged heads and hope he comes back on a day when we're our usual hot self's?? In the end we opt for the conversation... really, how could we let this pass? And, it turns out, he's a massive BABE in EVERY sense. After an amazing twenty minutes of chatting (and flirting) he departs our company with a slow shake of the hand and a promise of a return. Now here at Kitsch we stick to the old proverb "A lady never tells", but we will divulge this: he adored Kitsch!

So when will Mr Hancock return? Who knows. We do know however, that next time we'll be prepared. We'll look every bit as geek chic as he does. Ross, if your reading, this is what you've got to look forward to my love.....

Geek Pride.

Remember at school when you used to bully those socially inept, badly dressed folk? Maybe you'd stick chewing gum in their brill creamed, central parted hair, OR maybe you'd put shards of glass in their meticulously made (crusts off) sandwiches, "Just for a laugh like, yeah". Well, look who's laughing now. And its not you.

With all that knowledge and all that power, WHO, now, doesn't want to be a geek? (Apart from the nations BNP supporters, whose brain's stopped progressing whilst still in the womb. We all know you vote BNP because its the political party with the easiest name to spell and we all know you read The Sun newspaper for the same reasoning).

...Yes, the day of the geek is truly upon us and here at Kitsch, we say: "Let them bask in all their Geeky Glory!" And more importantly: "Let's nick their kooky styling."

Sooo, how do you give off the air of a superior geek? And how do you make it chic?

Rule One: March to your nearest W H Smiths and buy the latest issue of New Scientist, crumple up the pages (to give it that well read look) and pop it on the TOP of your bag... so everyone can see what you're 'reading'.

Rule Two: Perfection is key. Iron everything. Including your under crackers. And socks. If you're a lady: your tights too. (But remember to team those tights with the well ironed socks.)
Your ironing should be your new O.C.D.

Rule Three: Buy a vintage leather briefcase/music book bag. Preferably tan and preferably so well worn it looks like you've carried it to every seminar on Molecular Science and Thermo Dynamics since the dawn of time.

Rule Four: Its in the eyes. Real geeks will oust you if you don't hide them. Wear the THICKEST rimmed glasses you can find. Think classic Ray-Ban, think Buddy Holly. Think frames so heavy they bruise your nose.

Rule Five/Six: Keep talking about your mate Bill and always wear a bow tie. Even when bathing.

Rule Seven: Celebrate. America, it seems, has gone one step further than us Kitschers and they've penned a date in the diary to celebrate all things geek. National geek day, May the 25th to be precise, so move over St. Patricks day (I would say St.Georges day, but even the BNP loons don't celebrate that) there's a new celebration in town.

Lastly, if you're ever stuck as to where to buy these geek essentials, Kitsch is the place to find them (except the New Scientist of course, unless you'd like last weeks 'well read' edition).

All hail Bill Gates and friends.

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