Remember at school when you used to bully those socially inept, badly dressed folk? Maybe you'd stick chewing gum in their brill creamed, central parted hair, OR maybe you'd put shards of glass in their meticulously made (crusts off) sandwiches, "Just for a laugh like, yeah". Well, look who's laughing now. And its not you.
With all that knowledge and all that power, WHO, now, doesn't want to be a geek? (Apart from the nations BNP supporters, whose brain's stopped progressing whilst still in the womb. We all know you vote BNP because its the political party with the easiest name to spell and we all know you read The Sun newspaper for the same reasoning).
...Yes, the day of the geek is truly upon us and here at Kitsch, we say: "Let them bask in all their Geeky Glory!" And more importantly: "Let's nick their kooky styling."
Sooo, how do you give off the air of a superior geek? And how do you make it chic?
Rule One: March to your nearest W H Smiths and buy the latest issue of New Scientist, crumple up the pages (to give it that well read look) and pop it on the TOP of your bag... so everyone can see what you're 'reading'.
Rule Two: Perfection is key. Iron everything. Including your under crackers. And socks. If you're a lady: your tights too. (But remember to team those tights with the well ironed socks.)
Your ironing should be your new O.C.D.
Rule Three: Buy a vintage leather briefcase/music book bag. Preferably tan and preferably so well worn it looks like you've carried it to every seminar on Molecular Science and Thermo Dynamics since the dawn of time.
Rule Four: Its in the eyes. Real geeks will oust you if you don't hide them. Wear the THICKEST rimmed glasses you can find. Think classic Ray-Ban, think Buddy Holly. Think frames so heavy they bruise your nose.
Rule Five/Six: Keep talking about your mate Bill and always wear a bow tie. Even when bathing.
Rule Seven: Celebrate. America, it seems, has gone one step further than us Kitschers and they've penned a date in the diary to celebrate all things geek. National geek day, May the 25th to be precise, so move over St. Patricks day (I would say St.Georges day, but even the BNP loons don't celebrate that) there's a new celebration in town.
Lastly, if you're ever stuck as to where to buy these geek essentials, Kitsch is the place to find them (except the New Scientist of course, unless you'd like last weeks 'well read' edition).
All hail Bill Gates and friends.
x
With all that knowledge and all that power, WHO, now, doesn't want to be a geek? (Apart from the nations BNP supporters, whose brain's stopped progressing whilst still in the womb. We all know you vote BNP because its the political party with the easiest name to spell and we all know you read The Sun newspaper for the same reasoning).
...Yes, the day of the geek is truly upon us and here at Kitsch, we say: "Let them bask in all their Geeky Glory!" And more importantly: "Let's nick their kooky styling."
Sooo, how do you give off the air of a superior geek? And how do you make it chic?
Rule One: March to your nearest W H Smiths and buy the latest issue of New Scientist, crumple up the pages (to give it that well read look) and pop it on the TOP of your bag... so everyone can see what you're 'reading'.
Rule Two: Perfection is key. Iron everything. Including your under crackers. And socks. If you're a lady: your tights too. (But remember to team those tights with the well ironed socks.)
Your ironing should be your new O.C.D.
Rule Three: Buy a vintage leather briefcase/music book bag. Preferably tan and preferably so well worn it looks like you've carried it to every seminar on Molecular Science and Thermo Dynamics since the dawn of time.
Rule Four: Its in the eyes. Real geeks will oust you if you don't hide them. Wear the THICKEST rimmed glasses you can find. Think classic Ray-Ban, think Buddy Holly. Think frames so heavy they bruise your nose.
Rule Five/Six: Keep talking about your mate Bill and always wear a bow tie. Even when bathing.
Rule Seven: Celebrate. America, it seems, has gone one step further than us Kitschers and they've penned a date in the diary to celebrate all things geek. National geek day, May the 25th to be precise, so move over St. Patricks day (I would say St.Georges day, but even the BNP loons don't celebrate that) there's a new celebration in town.
Lastly, if you're ever stuck as to where to buy these geek essentials, Kitsch is the place to find them (except the New Scientist of course, unless you'd like last weeks 'well read' edition).
All hail Bill Gates and friends.
x
well this is some superb writing, looking forward to more!!!
ReplyDeletexx